Where does my certainty end and my variability begin? I am here, consciousness existing within the unknowably complex. With a mind that seeks to baseline my existence and create a self as a comparison against it. With such rudimentary understanding of the infinitely complex the egoic mind is like a bull in a china shop. A peaceful mind will never stray far from destiny. So what to make of life? To clumsily steer this vessel into unavoidable chaos? Like I’m stranded on Starship Graham and just pulling on all the levers to see what happens. Sounds like fun to me! How can I possibly choose wrongly?
I’ve staked a claim
Where gratitude was needed
I’ve run from all pain
As forgiveness was pleaded
I’ve puffed out my chest
Desperate to disappear
Outwardly at my best
My heart burning with fear
Blinded by destiny
I could never be here
A prayer to sleep restfully
I whispered in your ear
Even God could not speak it
In a way that was enough
It’s laughable that I seek it
And talk knowingly of love
I need a poem so stunningly beautiful
That it self-destructs
I would guzzle such a poison that annihilates the reader
Where each verse joyfully burns away my weathered skin
Leaving no aspect of this reality unchallenged
Upon reading such a creation I rise above this body
And witness the mortal me
As the entirety of his existence
Dissolves into nonsense
Quickly, a desperate escalation of his pace
As the emptiness hunts for him
With each step he pushes against crumbling stones
His fingers claw into the earth with all that he can muster
Still, he falls into that unrelenting blackness
Wailing and Flailing
The pounding wind from the decent
Soon becomes as still as a vacuum
All perceptions are left floating
Empty and resting
His surroundings become irrelevant
And I can’t tell if he’s still falling
Nor can he
And our true nature resolves
It is the merging of that which was never apart
Oh to have such a poem
Freedom packed into rhyme
Infinity captured within time
These cracked and weakened hands
Wringing this worn out cloth
For every last drop
That wasn’t already there
A desperate search for purity
Yields not but the divine nature of futility
Becoming brilliantly careless
An effortless smile
Erupts into laughter
A servant of humility
Discarded notions of ability
A hint of there-ness
Tickling this moment from beneath my skin
The once cursed silent dialogue of truth
Bathes me in a pool of the senses
Softening my pursuit
So I may be pursued
Hand in hand with my soul
Onwards we march
This is simply a brief excerpt from the works of Matthew Arnold that strikes a chord with me right now. Enjoy!
“Weary of myself, and sick of asking
What I am, and what I ought to be,
At this vessel’s prow I stand, which bears me
Forwards, forwards, o’er the starlit sea.”
In the spirit of New Years Eve I went searching through some Robert Burns poetry to find some words that spoke to me and found this little gem in a poem called “Tam o’ Shanter”. I hope you enjoy and have a Happy New Year!
But pleasures are like poppies spread:
You seize the flower, its bloom is shed;
Or like the snow fall on the river,
A moment white – then melts forever,
Or like the Aurora Borealis rays,
That move before you can point to their place;
Or like the rainbow’s lovely form,
Vanishing amid the storm.
No man can tether time or tide,
The hour approaches Tom must ride
Below is a link to wonderful poem by Gautam Sachdeva called “The World’s Best Astrologer”. Gautam is a former student of guru Ramesh Balsekar who was himself a student of Nisargadatta Maharaj. Through his YouTube channel here Gautam explains many of Ramesh’s most important teachings with extreme clarity. It is definitely worth your time. Enjoy the poem below.
I am always doing, when nothing need be done.
I search for answers, when there is nothing to find.
I strive to learn, but I must unlearn.
I wake from sleep, into another dream
I search for God, it is God that seeks.
I ask for forgiveness, but there’s nothing to forgive.
I run away, but never move an inch.
I beg for knowledge, of what I already know.
I fear my death, but have presumed my birth.
I am nothing, but I am everything.
Please, shed yourself of this polluted skin
And be not of your circumstance
Not a single mystery is worth solving
Nor a spoken word that improves upon silence
This world sparkles and screams
But such is the work of the sleeping masses
Does a lions heart dwell in there?
Have the courage to drop your names
And place trust in your path
Fear is not pushed, but pulled into existence
Bad days will unlock your deepest secrets
Reverse your gaze and dwell
A shoebox of thoughts
An inherited assumption of need
Each arising pain is a cleansing
Standing on the edge of awakening
Listen as your heart speaks to you
This is your soul and there is but one path to freedom
There’s isolation in this darkened hallway
Room only for single file
Each truth comes draped in riddles
Ripened fruits hide unwanted ironies
Footsteps of insanity echo behind me
Trying to know what can’t be known
Misunderstood and labelled
This body is his window
A dazzling show of all creation
These clothes give me warmth
But to be naked and thoughtless
How to live, how to live