Tag Archives: Spirituality

Random Thoughts on Spiritual Awakening

I have always thought that awakening sounded like something that happened quickly, like the amount of time it takes coffee to brew in the morning (I guess that would be “awaking”). However, progress has been a bitch temptress. I curse her when she leaves, but the key is always under the mat

I am a bag of fear and confusion. I have tasted what I’m looking for but I can’t wrap my head around it. I am always acting as if I have figured out some part of it but I am still just floating in space trying to change my direction.

I know I respond the same way over and over to the same situations and it is clearly a reaction and in no way an indication of true self. But why would a brain take such comfort in repeating such dreadful patterns that cause so much pain. Does the brain not care about emotions? The body sure thinks they’re a drag.

I have lots to say about the world but I just can’t find the words. It is frustrating to feel that you have something insightful to say but nothing comes out of your mouth or gets written on paper. I often figure that if I keep writing I have to stumble upon wisdom at some point. Or that the “real me” will take over and enlighten us all.

I guess the “real me” is not really a “me”. When we get down to the core of who we all really are, we are all the same. We come from the same place with the same eternal forces in each of us. Damn it sounds so mystical. But I believe in defining love as that unifying force. Could a universe exist based on hate?

What if it’s not love or hate but just nothing? Well love can only arise when there’s nothing left to block it. Perhaps that is the genius of it. Watching Sandra Bullock spin through space in dead silence in Gravity I started to wonder if I could feel only love if I was in her shoes. However, I was busy giving my arm rests a death grip to spend too much time thinking about it. Absolutely terrifying.

Another part that blows my mind is how we don’t just exist in the universe but are the universe itself. So when we look around, or listen, we are actually the eyes and ears that the universe is using to see and hear itself! Absolutely incredible as far as I’m concerned.

Also, the enormous size of universe. Why is it so damned big? It’s like it is trying to convince us to stop spending any time trying to understand all of it because it is completely unrealizable. Or perhaps in it’s infinity it provides unlimited hope. Who knows what is out there? Perhaps a utopia. Perhaps that utopia can be here. Maybe it is here.


I believe everybody wants to be happy
I believe every insane action is a misguided attempt to be happy
I believe everyone is frustrated that they can’t find happiness
I believe people think something external will make them happy
I believe the lure of false happiness is the bane of humanity
I believe you do not need to do anything to find happiness
I believe true happiness is unconditional
I believe unconditional happiness is to transcend happiness
I believe this happiness transforms into Peace, Joy, and Love
I believe Peace, Joy, and Love are born out of Spirituality
I believe Spirituality is not about what you believe

My Heart Is Broken

My heart is broken.

There are not enough tears to express the sadness I feel for what happened in Syria yesterday. Nerve gas attacks by the government on the people of Syria. The footage of children suffering just before succumbing to its dreadful effects is unbearable.  The fact that such a thing is possible speaks to the madness of the world we live in.

I sit here at work barely keeping it together. I know there is a flood of tears to come at the slightest trigger. I don’t know how to continue like normal after seeing such a thing.  I don’t want to continue like normal. I don’t want to be that guy who’s numb and can casually move past this. How can anyone continue on with such unnecessary pain occurring in the world?

Why Children?

Children represent how life wants to be lived. They go about in total presence enjoying every ounce of each and every little thing they come across. Children are our guide to happiness, our bringers of joy, and the brightest ray of hope in this mad world. I am convinced we are born into this world with life figured out and spend the rest of our time unlearning it. Yesterday’s attack is a cry for help from humanity. We are lost and we don’t know how to find our way back.

But what can I do?  What do I want to do?

What I want is for this not to have happened. To undo it. To prevent the suffering of those who suffered. Spiritually I know this is non-acceptance of what is. To deny this has happened is to live with anger clouding everything. And anger leads to a desire for vengeance. That those responsible must pay dearly. But that pattern has no end. It’s how you get there in the first place. Every act of violence results in an escalated act of violence.

We are all in this together

Much like a person who gets a serious illness, humanity is sick. While it is a few people who carry out the most dreadful of acts it is still humanity as a whole that is sick. When a person gets lung cancer they don’t say my lungs have cancer, they say I have cancer. Thus there is no real separation between us and those capable of heinous acts. We are at different ends of a scale but still on the same scale. If one is sick, we are all sick.

It’s time to question everything

We have got it wrong people. We aren’t slightly wrong, we’re not a little bit off target, we are way wrong. And we need to open our eyes to see it. We need to question our whole way of life. Science, Religion, Democracy, Capitalism, Socialism, Education, that 9 to 5 job, or that 6 to 6 job. What are any of these things accomplishing that is truly meaningful? What are they helping us become? Will they lead us to peace and happiness?

What do you want from life

Figuring out what you want from life is difficult. People will rarely say “I have everything I want” because they aren’t happy (or often very unhappy), and they need to assign that gap to something. If they watch enough TV I am sure they will assign that gap to something we can buy. If we spend endless hours at work that gap will be the promotion that we are longing for. If you’re in politics it’s likely more power that you crave.

But what if that gap wasn’t real

The essence of Spirituality is that we already have everything we need to feel Peace, Joy and Love. This is my path but this is also where my gap lies. Though I am not yet there I can sense the wisdom of looking internally instead of externally for happiness. I believe spirituality taps into the essence of who we are and that’s what Children are born with.

The majority of those who find spirituality later in life have found it through their own suffering. It is also sure that suffering in this world is increasing at an alarming rate. Perhaps it is our destiny to find spirituality this way. My only hope is that we can awaken enough to minimize the suffering along the way.