Tag Archives: free will

Want Not

Here’s an exact transcript (excuse the language) of a conversation I had with myself this afternoon following an onslaught of unwanted negative thoughts.

What is the point of these thoughts?
What the hell am I supposed to learn?
I just want them to go away!
How come what I want doesn’t fucking matter!?!
Holy crap! What I want DOESNT FUCKING MATTER.

All of a sudden there was relief. It is the”I” that doesn’t matter because it doesn’t exist. It is just a jumble of fears and desires. The minute thinking stopped occurring in the interest of little old me there was peace. It was a beautiful moment of surrender. As Ramesh Balsekar said, the only thing you can surrender is personal free will.