Tag Archives: Fear

Knowing Yourself is the Key to Knowing Others

It has been a while since I posted anything on this particular blog but after a lengthy phone discussion with an old friend I have been inspired to reignite the examination of this side of myself. Perhaps the truth of the matter was that I never stopped on my journey.

Challenge

My biggest challenge in life, as it has always been, is figuring out exactly how to interact with the world. I possess strong opinions and a desire to engage, but I always feel inadequate when expressing myself. And the ideas that I am trying to unleash remain trapped within my brain.

Additionally I feel a simmering urgency to get involved as it is incredibly frustrating witnessing how people interact with each other on social media. It is absurd that so many people hold on to their ideas with such a unwavering certainty when even a cursory examination of spiritual principles could cast enormous doubt upon any perspective.

Fear

However, I believe there is an underlying shadow of doubt that is feeding the divisive world that we find ourselves in. People are subconsciously realizing that the paradigm upon which they base their value system is dissolving beneath their feet. And with the desperation of a drowning swimmer they cling to the familiar, no matter the evidence laid before them.

If I claimed 2+2 = 5 no one would react so strongly in denying that untruth. One would simply know it’s wrong and move on. But when foundational ideas about the very way you live your life are challenged…. you get loud, you get angry, and you certainly don’t go down without a fight. There are examples everyday of people experiencing this huge identity crisis. 

In no place is this more apparent than in the social media trend called ‘Cancel Culture’. This draconian and unforgiving practice reeks of fear. It requires a person to completely disregard their own flaws, while highlighting, as paramount, the perceived failings of another and ultimately punishing them harshly for it. And all of this based on a minimal amount of information.

Temptation

The temptation I feel is to respond equally as harshly to those promoting cancel culture as a useful approach to improving the world. But the unfortunate irony is that in doing so I am becoming the very thing I am most passionately opposed to. The upside is that perhaps in understanding more deeply what I need to transcend this anger I gain an understanding of what others need. And I believe this element is at the core of my spiritual journey.

Understanding the essence of who I am, in turn means I understand others. And within this understanding is the gift of truly being able to make a difference in this world.

 

Photo Courtesy of: De Visu/Shutterstock.com

 

I Need Your Help, I Need Your Grace, & I Need Your Love – An Act Of Surrender

“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go.”

– Abraham Lincoln

It’s the dreaded thought that I am completely alone in the universe that leads me to take action on my own behalf. My greatest fear is that there is no hidden force in life guiding me, making decisions for me, or taking care of me. Thus I have embarked on a seemingly eternal mission to hack the purpose of life. To learn the techniques that will make me happy, bring me success, and bring me love. But having been guided by fear I was always bound to fail, and bound to suffer.

I dig deep inside myself to find the strength and courage it takes to admit that I can’t do it. That I can’t figure it out, I don’t know how to live, and I don’t know how to be happy. That even to take the next step right in front of me paralyzes me with fear. It has been such a heavy burden attempting to outsmart life. To learn the secret code of living so I can finally be at peace.

In the ruins of such a catastrophic failure I am left with no choice but to scream out to God for help. Over and over the thought repeats “I need your help!”. It feels like belief in God is secondary at this point. Desperation has made me ripe. As this phrase repeats, and softens, I begin to relax. It may be the most authentic act of surrender I have ever made.

The words in my head change. I repeat the phrases “I need your grace” & “I need your love”.

My body releases the anxiety I have been holding on to but those words in my thoughts continue. It strikes me odd as I am no longer suffering but still repeating my call to God. I recognize it through spiritual teachings as a separation between my thoughts and my self. The distinction has become much more apparent in my unusual calmness. Surrender, I am learning, is not a milestone in the spiritual journey. It is a permanent state.

This life is not my own. And it is not a riddle. I don’t need to develop the skills to figure it out some day in the distant future. This beautiful life is for everyone and it does not discriminate.

Peace & Love