Now THIS is something that I know about! Quickly to start, here is a truncated list of the many different ways I have sought to learn more about myself:
- Completed the Why Discovery Course – (by famous Ted Talker – Simon Sinek)
- Completed the Myers Briggs Personality test – (INFJ btw – the rarest of course)
- Completed DISC Assessment – (Again, the rarest)
- Completed Stand Out Strengths Assessment – (It said I should be a politician)
- Completed several online IQ tests
- Started several blogs – (The Green Howse Effect / The Honest Golfer / The Goalie Posts / My Inner Medium / The Passionate Why)
- Read dozens of spiritual texts
Having completed all of the above and still finding myself without a solid understanding of who I am sure seems to be a classic case of paralysis by analysis.
Valuing self awareness as I do I am forced to question my whole approach. From a spiritual perspective this constant pursuit of figuring out who I am, under the pretext that it can help me live a better life, keeps me entirely out of the present moment and intensely focused on some future state. It is the ego trying to leverage spiritual knowledge to make life better for the ego.
My current gratitude practice is definitely something that I can improve. Is my current life so terrible that I must use all of my energy making things “better”?
Obviously it is not.
I have a healthy family. I have a steady, well paying job. I have friends. I have a roof over my head. I have more luxuries than 99.9% of the planet. And I live in one of the safest countries on the entire planet.
Now, perhaps being in such a privileged position has burdened me the responsibility to make the most of it. Contrarily, if the energy I bring to my daily interactions leans towards negativity because of this burden than a life well lived may be the best course of action.
My needs are simple. I want to laugh. I want to feel safe. I want to live a happy healthy life.
Additionally, this tendency towards obsessive self assessments seems more suited for someone in the pursuit of extreme success. The presence of this proclivity in me may be largely influenced by the incessant social media narrative of the same theme.
But, truthfully it doesn’t seem very appropriate for someone like myself. Success of this nature would certainly bring with it more stress, and I am certainly not known for my innate ability to handle stress!
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