My Heart Is Broken

My heart is broken.

There are not enough tears to express the sadness I feel for what happened in Syria yesterday. Nerve gas attacks by the government on the people of Syria. The footage of children suffering just before succumbing to its dreadful effects is unbearable.  The fact that such a thing is possible speaks to the madness of the world we live in.

I sit here at work barely keeping it together. I know there is a flood of tears to come at the slightest trigger. I don’t know how to continue like normal after seeing such a thing.  I don’t want to continue like normal. I don’t want to be that guy who’s numb and can casually move past this. How can anyone continue on with such unnecessary pain occurring in the world?

Why Children?

Children represent how life wants to be lived. They go about in total presence enjoying every ounce of each and every little thing they come across. Children are our guide to happiness, our bringers of joy, and the brightest ray of hope in this mad world. I am convinced we are born into this world with life figured out and spend the rest of our time unlearning it. Yesterday’s attack is a cry for help from humanity. We are lost and we don’t know how to find our way back.

But what can I do?  What do I want to do?

What I want is for this not to have happened. To undo it. To prevent the suffering of those who suffered. Spiritually I know this is non-acceptance of what is. To deny this has happened is to live with anger clouding everything. And anger leads to a desire for vengeance. That those responsible must pay dearly. But that pattern has no end. It’s how you get there in the first place. Every act of violence results in an escalated act of violence.

We are all in this together

Much like a person who gets a serious illness, humanity is sick. While it is a few people who carry out the most dreadful of acts it is still humanity as a whole that is sick. When a person gets lung cancer they don’t say my lungs have cancer, they say I have cancer. Thus there is no real separation between us and those capable of heinous acts. We are at different ends of a scale but still on the same scale. If one is sick, we are all sick.

It’s time to question everything

We have got it wrong people. We aren’t slightly wrong, we’re not a little bit off target, we are way wrong. And we need to open our eyes to see it. We need to question our whole way of life. Science, Religion, Democracy, Capitalism, Socialism, Education, that 9 to 5 job, or that 6 to 6 job. What are any of these things accomplishing that is truly meaningful? What are they helping us become? Will they lead us to peace and happiness?

What do you want from life

Figuring out what you want from life is difficult. People will rarely say “I have everything I want” because they aren’t happy (or often very unhappy), and they need to assign that gap to something. If they watch enough TV I am sure they will assign that gap to something we can buy. If we spend endless hours at work that gap will be the promotion that we are longing for. If you’re in politics it’s likely more power that you crave.

But what if that gap wasn’t real

The essence of Spirituality is that we already have everything we need to feel Peace, Joy and Love. This is my path but this is also where my gap lies. Though I am not yet there I can sense the wisdom of looking internally instead of externally for happiness. I believe spirituality taps into the essence of who we are and that’s what Children are born with.

The majority of those who find spirituality later in life have found it through their own suffering. It is also sure that suffering in this world is increasing at an alarming rate. Perhaps it is our destiny to find spirituality this way. My only hope is that we can awaken enough to minimize the suffering along the way.

My Forever Companion

Love is not a hope,
Nor a memory,
It is not earned,
And it can’t be lost,
Before you even ask,
You are forgiven,
It’s your forever companion,
And loyal friend,
Your iron will,
And your gentle touch,
It fills every corner,
And every room,
It is both why and how,
And only here and now,
It is the soft place to fall,
And the firm hand that lifts us up,
It is the world without a filter,
And Peace without end.

The Brightest Dawn

As if witnessing my first sunrise
My jaw dangles beneath my nose
It is the brightest of dawns
Suddenly two eyes are not enough

If breathing required thought
I would be sent gasping
Too long I’ve dabbled in shadows
Settling for shades of grey

I embrace the passing darkness
Had I not been so lost in her black
The sun would have burned too bright
Sending me running to familiar pain

But as the stars are hidden in daylight
There is love disguised in all things
Don’t waste a nanosecond searching
For it is already looking for you

God Bless The Tears

God bless the tears
that cleanse the soul
that abate my fears
when pain takes a toll

The anxious thought
and judgemental mind
aren’t all for not
just all in time

God bless the flame
that lights the path
leads past my shame
and egos wrath

After and before
Tis thanks I give
but my guide no more
I choose now to live

God bless the wrong
it illuminates the right
I know I’m strong
but no need to fight

Come in my friends
we are not foes
there’s hearts to mend
and much to dispose

Take off your shoes
hang up your coat
we’ve paid our dues
we’ve crossed the moat

Slight Resistance

Slight resistance
still remains
as her hands
reach to my face

She doesn’t touch
but feels the warmth
as I sing my song
with gasping breath

Then her lids
begin to drop
I cease my tune
and stop my rock

No scuffing pants
nor squeaky floors
not mumbly voices
or shutting doors

Her eyes are shut
her breaths are deep
the task at hand
nearly complete

One final turn
one shortened sigh
one loving gaze
one last goodnight

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